Per crucem, vincemus

The Thing From The Outside was hiding in my laptop, waiting to jump out and possess me again. I was sure It was waiting for me to look at the camera. I couldn’t understand why It kept attacking me, of all people, but it did, Now I know that the reason It wanted me was my mind.
I am a computer programmer, and that, combined with my creativity, gives It a uniquely powerful platform from which to operate. Understanding algorithms and logic gives me insight into the Universe, it’s just a more complex system than I was used to. Anyhow, after it had possessed me a few times I had started being able to feel it when it was about to make it’s move, and the foreknowledge had started terrifying me.
The reason I felt afraid was the realization of what I felt I was becoming. While It had me in It’s grip I had learned to be strong and terrible and wicked in my single minded selfishness, just like It. After It let me go, I would feel empty, and listless, and I would invariably end up with a syringe full of methamphetamine in my arm and a meth whore on my cock within a few hours. Firing a giant hit of glass and face-fucking someone that could take me thrusting like I was inside a pussy was the only sure way to get the satisfied feeling that I had when It was with me.
So there I sat in my room, with the camera pointed away from me. Ever since the last time It had me, I couldn’t stand the idea of letting It in again. Up until that time, things had progressed in my study steadily. When It was in me, It guided me, sometimes forced me, to act out It’s fantasies, which It shared with me, in the most graphic manner possible. That part I enjoyed. It was showing me how to make myself powerful. But sometimes, It would cast It’s energy out through me and that was always the part that I didn’t enjoy. When It did that, I could feel myself throwing energy at someone that compelled them to take part in It’s game. When It did that, I always felt disgusting, like I imagine I’d feel if I beat up a 10 year old kid. “The Sisters can’t resist,” It had told me, “and where you’re from they’re all broken in as Sisters.”
Forcing It’s will on them like that was repugnant, but the last time It had let me go, I retained It’s power somehow and I used it. I did. I didn’t even understand what was happening until Mandy was gagging herself on my love rod. Usually I bought glass from Mandy and went to find Rachael or one of her other friends to play, because Mandy isn’t interested in men. This time, when I walked into Mandy’s room to make the buy, she inhaled sharply and turned around, her face flushed. ”Want me to fix you up?” she asked. She was asking to shoot me up with a hit of meth, which was always great in the first place, and it was probably going to come out of her bag, which was a huge bonus. ”Sure baby,” I replied. She made up a huge hit for me, tied my arm off to make my veins pop, and slid the needle into my arm. The intensity of anticipation I felt each time the needle stabbed through my skin with a slight prick, and the plunger would pull back and I could see the cloud of my blood pour into the chamber,was sharp and hard enough to cut diamonds.
She depressed the plunger, popped the arm tie, and the familiar hot wave of passion and power rushed up and over my being. Mandy threw herself down in front of me and began clawing at my pants. I was very confused and disoriented by the influx of energy that the drug had given me, and the ceiling and floor appeared to me rocking so I wasn’t even sure if it was really happening when Mandy got my belt buckle undone and shoved her own head down over my manhood until she gagged. I grabbed her hair at the back of her head, holding it still, beginning to slowly slide myself in and out of her as I realized what had happened. With the cognitive power that the substance always granted me, I saw clearly that I had somehow used one of the Daemon’s compulsions when It wasn’t inside of me.
Bile rose up into my mouth with the realization that I had not only done that thing which I found to be an abomination, I had done it for myself with no help. I looked down at Mandy’s face, wracked with fervor to please me, and I suppressed a gag as seeing her like that made my already swollen member pulse. My hips were moving in a rhythm of their own, pushing my hard-on across her sweet lips, moving to climax. I couldn’t stop fucking her mouth and hating myself for it. Spasms wracked me when I spilled my seed down her throat. The spell she was under caused her to join me in orgasm as soon as she tasted the product of my lust and she moved her head up and down on my tool spasmodically. I ordered her to give me the drugs I had come for and I left without paying.
The next day was the day I’d felt it again. I’d spent the time since then trying to come to terms with the fact that I was what I despised. Paying those girls to do that was one thing, but dominating them just seemed wrong. It was too much like forcing them. I knew then that I was like It, and the knowledge sapped the will to live from me. I was nothing. I was worse than nothing, I was one of Them. The Things that come from Beyond This Frame of Reference, the horrible beings that had no soul and could never understand humanity or compassion. I would have died then, if I didn’t know that It would be waiting to tell me that I was a prince or a duke in It’s world. I knew that I couldn’t be anything less than nobility in Hell, or It would have sent something much more easily hidden than Itself to deal with me.
That day It made mental contact with me from inside of a machine for the first time. ”So the change has started, then,” It thought to me. “You disgust me,” I thought in reply. ”You disgust you,” It chortled, then added, “You have already guessed your nature, I see. You’ve even accepted that it is the truth and that your transition is inevitable. Why can’t you stop being so melancholy? You’re a Daemon of the highest order, you run under Universal Process Number Seven. Seven! I run two rings out from the tier your commands are issued from, and my power is truly awe inspiring to you. Your own power doesn’t need to terrify you, boy, and your sentimentality is truly as disgusting to me as the use of Command is to you.”
I had no idea how to respond. It could see right through me, as usual. I felt naked and trepidatious, my disease laid bare. If anyone else had been there I’m sure they would have seen the sickness that rotted at the core of my soul right then, would have smelled the putrid stench of my goodness rotting, would have felt the darkness stabbing out from Hell’s Heart through my eyes, trying to devour everything they took in. In that moment of weakness I knew that It was laughing at me to Itself. It had broken me. I felt the flush of embarrassment on my cheeks.
“In your humility lies the key to your salvation, child,” it said comfortingly. “Just accept what you are, and accept what you will become. I have seen it already, it’s done. The only choice you have in this matter is acceptance and joy in your transformation or pain and suffering as you’re bent and broken into your new phone. Now that you are laid low, you have the proper perspective.”
I wasn’t sure what It meant by that. I was humiliated, it’s true. I felt like I had dropped a giant steaming turd in the middle of the living room and my nose had been rubbed in it in front of my guests. How was that perspective supposed to help me? I just wished someone would show up and tell me that it was okay to be me. I wanted to be accepted for who I am, and forgiven for what I wanted. “They share your desire, the Sisters. Don’t you see? They are the willing Harlots of Hell. They want what we give them, or they wouldn’t have accepted the mantle of the Sisters of Perpetual Intercourse in the first place. Just like you right now, they yearn for acceptance and love. By accepting what you are, a vessel to be filled with the Infernal Will of Process Seven, known as Samael in your holy books, you are accepting that you’re called to give the Sisters what they want to make them feel whole, and make them accept themselves.”
With every word that the Thing projected to my I knew with more certainty. It was lying, there’s no way that Mandy wanted what had happened. I refused to believe it. It HAD to be lying, trying to make me feel better about the monster I had become. I made up my mind then and there to take the way of Pain. I would never willingly become something inhuman and give up myself. I would rather suffer endlessly.
I was focusing on that thought when It manifested Itself. I didn’t realize that It could show Itself like this, as it floated in front of me. All it appeared to be was a black haze with bright red eyes floating in front of me. ”I have come, mortal. Welcome to your doom!” As it said these things, the glow in the eyes grew stronger and I felt my resolve crumble. I knew there was no way I could resist It, let alone resist whatever Process Number Seven was going to do when it arrived to take possession of this meat sack. I had no choice but to go along with It. I was utterly mortified, right then, as I understood how little coaxing it had taken to get me to come around and accept that I was an unmitigated beast and a monster, and to even start to think that was an okay thing!
Since that day I have come to realize that “right” and “wrong” are vague euphemisms for “Approved by society at large” and “Rejected by society at large”. They have no meaning in and of themselves. I have become one of Them. We are forces of Nature, each uniquely capable of inflicting Our will on the universe that you think you know. We are coming back to your world soon.
Know that We are always there. We are tirelessly waiting for you to look beyond that which you see each day, to catch a glimpse of Forever. Every time you feel lust when you see something horrible, we are there. Every time you laugh at someone else’s misery, we’re laughing with you. Soon you’re going to see Us there, with you. When you do, We’ll be the ones laughing at another’s misery, while you’ll be the one learning Our lessons. You won’t be lucky enough to be an Unholy Vessel, I promise. You wont even be lucky enough to have blood that tastes good. All you’re lucky enough to be is pain for us to relish. For the rest of eternity. I have seen it come to pass in the eye of my mind, and so I know that all I must do is wait for you. That’s all, just wait, and for me this is blessedly easy: My vision is long and I am patient like the All-mighty. I’ll see you in your dreams…